I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
