Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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