I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
