soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
