Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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