They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
