Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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