No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
