Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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