You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He better not be in your backpack
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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