Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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