Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
