That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
