is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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