So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Enjoy the penises
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
