The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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