i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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