I'm going to jail i love you
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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