I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
