ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
