what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
