I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
