this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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