Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
