Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
