No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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