Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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