Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
