I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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