do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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