So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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