i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
