Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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