Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
