It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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