Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
