Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
