sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
