I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
