i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
