worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
