I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
