CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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