ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
