its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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