I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize