Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Even my vagina gasped.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
