If that was your dad, he is hot
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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