Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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