as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
