Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
