My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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