I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
