Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
