Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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