You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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