I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
