He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
