Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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