Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
