I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The air was thick with penises
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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