just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
