I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
