i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i believe in u and ur pee
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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