Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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