final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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