People in love make me want to vomit
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
