He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
