So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
