i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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