There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
