Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
