Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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