Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
