so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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