My brain says no but my pants say off.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
