her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There are leaves in my underwear?
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