The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
