you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
