I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize