did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize