Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
